Is there a real life Edward out there?
28 Feb 2009 Leave a Comment
Since I was a little girl I have been a “builder” according to Helen Fisher. I’ve grown up dreaming about my wedding day and having my own family one day. Dolls were my favorite toy to play with when I was little, and I would get lost in pretending to be mommy. Tradition has always been a value of mine and instilled in me from a young age. Little things like opening one present under the tree on Christmas Eve and having my dad video tape us ripping open presents the next morning, to going to church every Sunday. I’ve always known loyalty but struggled with it while I was trying to find myself in high school. My secondary love type is negotiator. I am very good at “reading” people’s faces posture, gestures and tone of voice. I am also nurturing, compassionate and agreeable according to the article called The Laws of Chemistry (2007). I think that most people can have alternative love types and it can change during different points in your life or change due to certain experiences.
I have to say that both evolution and society plays a huge role in mate selection and relational development. At a young age we decide what we like and dislike about the people closest to us. Fisher calls this a “love map” an unconscious list of qualities you begin to build in childhood. She goes on to say that there is much evidence that we generally fall in love with those of the same socioeconomic and ethnic backgrounds, of roughly the same age, with the same degree of intelligence and level of education, and with a similar sense of humor and grade of attractiveness. (2007) I strongly agree with Fisher but at the same time I truly believe that society and media has a lot to do with our choices in partners.
I am a huge reader, mostly they are mystery novels but there is always a bit of romance included. For a woman the man tends to be a strong person who will keep you safe from any danger. For a man the woman is someone who wants to be protected and looks at you as if there was no one else on the planet as strong as you. I have read a few romance novels in my day and while incredibly cheesy sometimes you can’t help but get sucked in. There is so much love and passion in those stories; I sometimes wonder why my boyfriend can’t act that way. The same goes with movies like The Notebook, is there really a man out there like that, who will do everything possible to prove that he loves you? If so, where is he and can my boyfriend take some lessons? When watching those movies it’s hard to remember that they are not realistic, just like my romance novels they suck you right in.
We all have ideas of what an ideal relationship is but just like the ideal perfect body, it doesn’t exist. We are all unique and when you get together with another person you two are unique compared to any other relationship. I have a friend who is completely obsessed with Edward from the book/movie Twilight. She is determined to marry someone just like him. Even though he is a completely fictional character she will settle for nothing but a real life Edward. I have to admit that I too read the Twilight series and became borderline obsessed with Edward myself, the difference is I can separate fiction and reality. Apart from media, society plays a large role in relational development. At birth little girls are wrapped in a pink blanket and boys are wrapped in a blue blanket. When we get older girls are interested in playing mommy and boys like to act like daddy. I don’t have proof of it but I agree when people say women tend to date men like their fathers and vice versa, it makes sense because you learn from your parents just like you learn from media. A person’s childhood and adult experiences shape and reshape the template of an ideal romantic partner. (Fisher, 2007)
Fisher, Helen. (2007). The Laws of Chemistry. Psychology Today; May/Jun2007, Vol. 40 Issue 3, p76-81, 6p. Retrieved February 27, 2009, Academic Search Premier.
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